dreaming

One of my bad habits is collecting small things. I used to collect stamps, stones, match boxes, even ash tray. However, my mom was terribly quick cleaner. She is a good person, but she doesn't understand somebody is collecting things ever. She hates to keep older stuffs.

So that I never succeeded to keep my collection in my room. When some numbers of any collection was piled in my drawer, she immediately dumped away one day. Not only just collections but also my emotional soveniors, reminissinces, and fancy stuffs has been disappeared without scream just one moment.

The destiny of my books has walked long and hard way too. It's a really long story that I don't want to share all that bitter history. My father's books were also experienced similar process. So some parts are in unknown community library, some were sent to unknown place and rotten away. My books are eventually in my parent's house now. But there were a few crises before. My dear books...

On the contrary, she is amazingly big book lover. She reads many books. Every time she bought us some books whenever she came back from downtown. The problem is that she doesn't want to keep "not new stuffs" in her place. Can you understand? Believe or not, she one day threw away a set of classic antique gramophone without any notice to us. It was made almost 70 years before in Europe. Once again, I have to say she is really really a great music lover. She is the opener who made me knew what classic music is.

My dvd and music cd collections are now in Taiwan after many intracacies. And I'm buying books months by months. Of course, I know my life will be more alienized from now on. My "home" is not yet settled anywhere. Rather, one more long journey is left beside me over if my plan is successful.

Mom is my best supporter. She always encourages, cares, and loves me. But i cannot send my new books and others back to her. Sending cost is of course the first problem, but the other reason is that my parents house is no my home since I had left there long time ago.

But I dreamt of an old pattern of behavior by my mom sometime. What if I stay there, and from time to time my stuffs are disappeard, I become crazy a while, but still somebody cooks warm food for me everyday. Well, dream is dream, yeah?